When we ask God for something and we don’t receive the result that we are longing for, the enemy takes advantage of our lack of understanding to cause us to feel disappointed. Disappointment can lead to bitterness, which is a root of evil that produces doubt and fear in our lives. Satan spends much of his time setting us up to feel that we cannot trust God or His Word.

We convince ourselves that we are not disappointed in God. When we cannot deal with the thought of being disappointed in God, many times we deduct that God is not to be understood. Where biblically we should seek Him for answers, many just assume they will not understand God’s ways until they go to heaven. It becomes difficult to draw near to God if we feel that He is beyond our ability to understand.

Just last month, I believed God for a certain amount of finances to come into our ministry. When the statement arrived at the end of the month, the amount coming in exceeded the amount going out (a good report). Furthermore, extra finances had come into our ministry that would cover the expense of paying off our parking lot loan. Truly it was a wonderful report. However, when I saw that the amount was slightly less than the amount I was asking for, I felt a little disappointed. My mind knew that I should be grateful for the miracle provision that God brings every single month to Beauty For Ashes Ministry. However, I did have to admit that I would have felt better if God had met my request exactly (or if He had given abundantly more than I had asked).

As I sought the Lord as to why I felt this tinge of disappointment, the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me different times that the enemy had caused me to feel disappointment towards God. One was when I was asking for my son’s medical test to show his blood levels to be normal (a trial my family walked through years ago). I would work up all the faith I could to believe that the medical test would turn around and prove to the doctors that my son did not need medicine. And week after week, I was disappointed. God showed me that bitterness had seeped into my heart.

The same week that I was seeking the Lord about these things, I went to pray for someone who was in critical condition at the hospital. Just a few weeks before, someone came to a meeting at our church with the news that the medical scan proved that the baby in her womb was dead. She did not let them abort what they referred to as the dead fetus; she told them she wanted her church to pray for her first. Within days, she was retested and the baby was perfectly healthy. When the anointing was upon me to pray, faith rose up in my heart and I confidently declared that they would find the baby perfectly healthy. But when I prayed for the young person in critical condition at the hospital, I did not have the same boldness. I knew God would heal him, but I did not feel I could boldly declare he would be instantly healed.

I continued to seek the Lord and He showed me where the enemy used past disappointments to bring in a spirit of timidity (lack of confidence with God). My focus on numbers (whether the amount attending a meeting or the finances) had come when I had been wounded by the enemy with my son’s illness. He showed me that for years of that trial, I looked at the circumstances (the blood levels) to determine if God had answered my prayer. Time and again I was disappointed.

Over the years I have drawn close to God and developed a mature relationship with Him. Today I see my prayers answered. However, I never realized that bitterness had entered into my heart with each unanswered prayer from my past. Bitterness produces doubt and fear. The Holy Spirit reminded me of the extreme disappointment I felt years ago when I tried to raise a young boy from the dead. After God delivered me from this bitterness, I was able to boldly pray for the young man at the hospital. Within hours of my prayer, this young person was taken off of the respirator.

Now to answer the question- Draw near to God with your faith. Then you will come to know and trust Him. The day will come when you will understand His ways and the doubt will lose its power to hinder your prayers. Know that God’s Word is true and anything that makes you question His faithfulness is coming from the enemy (even well written books if they do not line up with what He says in His Word). God is a rewarder of those who seek Him out!